


Chaos, Yet Order : Soldier of Balance

by writergenie



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben Solo inherited his political genes from his mother, Ben Solo is a Mess, Ben Solo is a good Supreme Leader, I'm going into this idea blind... so tags will evolve with the story, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Mental Health Issues, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Renperor, Reylo - Freeform, TW : Anxiety and Depression, TW : Suicidal thoughts, The Force Ships It, The Rise of Skywalker is not considered canon in this house, What-If, might be GingerRose, might be StormPilot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:48:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22562758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writergenie/pseuds/writergenie
Summary: Soon after the Battle of Crait, things are not going the way the Resistance leadership thought they would. How did Kylo Ren go from tantrum throwing darkside lordling to a real commander and political strategist almost overnight?A What-If look at how things might have panned out in a galaxy far, far away if one thing had changed.Kylo Ren now has someone he begrudgingly respects, to confide in and consult with, after the end of The Last Jedi - His First Order mandated Therapist.
Relationships: Ben Solo & Han Solo, Kylo Ren & Original Female Character(s), Kylo Ren/Rey, Leia Organa & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Leia Organa & Rey, Luke Skywalker & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey & Han Solo, Rey & Luke Skywalker, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 14
Kudos: 41





	1. Supreme Leader Ren... I presume.

It had barely been two standard week cycles since Kylo Ren had ascended to the position of Supreme Leader of the First Order and already, things had started to spiral out of control. Hux, though cowed for the time being after being choked into submission, was surely planning his assassination. The Stormtroopers were under Hux’s control, civil wars were breaking out on multiple systems supposedly under First Order rule and the First Order war machine was draining credits from the treasury like a dying beast bleeding out of everywhere. In short, it was a humongous disaster that Kylo had inherited, and he definitely had no one at his back, offering to help him bring things under control.

Which was probably why the officer who’d informed him that a Dr. Ashara had requested his presence in her office immediately, was almost thrown into the wall of his office. But it could easily have been literally anything else. Kylo Ren was of course, not known for his patience or his restraint.

* * *

Dr. Rumi Ashara looked around her new office. She’d only just started her position at the First Order, because the inclusion of healthcare professionals like herself had been part of an effort to change how things were run at the organization after its sudden and dramatic takeover by Kylo Ren. The enigmatic and famously short-tempered Master of the equally enigmatic Knights of Ren… and she supposed, the new Supreme Leader of the First Order.

Loud thunks of big boots stomping on the polished durasteel floors towards her office shook the mind healer out of her reverie and announced the timely, if apparently irritated arrival of her appointment. The pneumatic doors slid open on a near-silent hiss, to reveal an almost absurdly large figure, clad in all black, the only relief from the inky hue coming from the veins of bright red that ran across his mask.

“Supreme Leader Ren, I presume. Please… come in, and make yourself comfortable”


	2. Hello, my name is...

_“Supreme Leader Ren, I presume. Please… come in, and make yourself comfortable”_

* * *

Rumi already knew enough about the young man to know that she would have to quietly assert her control over the appointment before he could react, if she had to save herself and her office from being sacrificed to the altar of his infamous temper. So she stood from her place behind her massive desk but made no move to get any nearer to him.

“I’m in the middle of a hundred different _important_ things and I hear that a Doctor has asked for my presence in her office _immediately_. Who do you think you are? Wh-”

Before the hissing growl of the modulator could continue, Rumi had interrupted... her pleasant and quiet but arresting tone demanded notice

“I am Dr. Rumi Ashara, as you probably know from General Hux today morning, your and your officers’ new mental healer… a therapist. And as a medical professional, I take pride in knowing my patients and helping them in whatever manner I am able to. As part of that, I wanted to meet you Supreme Leader. I assure you whatever you might discuss during our sessions here are bound by strict doctor-patient confidentiality rules and will never be discussed with a third party.”

“That would matter if I ever had any intention of discussing anything with you… Doctor”

Dr. Ashara’s green eyes brightened with a bit of humor even as Kylo’s sarcastic bite at the title faded into the air.

“I understand you have just… ascended to your title. And you think yourself surrounded by enemies… people vying for your position… people who wouldn’t blink before shoving a vibroblade in your back and stepping over you to claim the title. I’m here to provide you with a safer outlet when things start to become too much. I’m here as a support system, which I’m not saying you need… but is always something good to have.”

“How do I know you’re not one of those people with the vibroblade…or working for one of them who wouldn’t hesitate to murder me?”

“You don’t. And until you give me a chance to do my job, I cannot prove to you that I am only trying to do what I am supposed to… give you an opportunity to reflect with no pressure, no eyes on you and no judgments. I am giving you a space where you are free to express yourself and if you need it, when you ask for it, any advice that I can give you from a professional standpoint. Think of me as an impartial observer, a wall to talk at… and if you want me to, I can respond with my opinions.”

Before Kylo could get a word in edgewise, the doctor continued

“But before we go any further, let me make a couple of things very clear. Yes, you are the Supreme Leader of the First Order and by virtue of that, my boss. But when you are in a session with me, I am your healthcare provider and you are my patient… that is all. You will give me the respect my position is due. In return, I promise to treat you like every other patient of mine. I will be polite towards you but will not bite back anything just because you hold a position of authority over me. I might not always tell you what you want to hear but I promise you I will not stop myself from telling you what you need to know. And pursuant to that, I want you to agree to something whenever you have any sessions with me”

“And what might that be?”

There was a reluctant note of curiosity in his voice

“I need you to promise yourself… not me, but yourself, that you will try not to use your lightsaber or the Force, in anger during our sessions.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading till the end.
> 
> Let me know in the comments what you think of our Dr. Ashara... and what you think she looks like
> 
> xo
> 
> Genie


	3. Where do you belong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was so happy with you guys' response on how you pictured Dr. Ashara! I love all your ideas... but I've left the description of Dr. Ashara out deliberately so that all of us an form our own idea of what she looks like to us. 
> 
> xo
> 
> Genie.
> 
> p.s.  
> This chapter is slightly longer than ones before but still not to my usual chapter length of 1k words... we'll get there. This fic seems to need more scene breaks than I expected.

_“I need you to promise yourself… not me, but yourself, that you will try not to use your lightsaber or the Force, in anger during our sessions.”_

* * *

Whatever reaction she had expected, Dr. Ashara didn’t expect the young man to remove his helmet in one smooth move to reveal a handsome but haggard looking face, tired eyes that still held reluctant amusement and generous lips gathered in what was clearly a fake pout

“Already worried about the longevity of your office furniture Doctor?”

This time, her title wasn’t spoken in the most sarcastic manner and Rumi took that as the small victory it was.

“No, Kylo. The office and its furniture is the least of my concerns. I wanted the two of us to approach this with as much comfort and ease as we can and while I understand that it is difficult for you to trust me or to deliberately curb your usage of the Force, it is my opinion that treating our sessions as a safe space where you can let go of your burdens and the weight of assumptions placed on you, would be the most rewarding.”

As the young man watched her with careful eyes, Rumi motioned to the plushy seat again.

“Please… would you care to make yourself a bit more comfortable?”

The young Supreme Leader still looked unsure and the doctor sat back and let him make his decision. She could wait till Kylo Ren had made his mind up… this relationship between a healer and her patient could only commence if the patient was present and willing to cooperate. Forcing this decision onto him would only undo whatever minute progress had been made.

It took all of a minute before, with what she was sure was a muttered imprecation, the young man slouched onto the lounge seat in a manner most unbecoming of a Supreme Leader. For a moment, he was just a sulky teenager in the body of a grown man... before years of training forced its way back into the forefront of his mind, and his body automatically stiffened into a straight-backed position. Rumi continued to watch curiously, as a light blush tinted his high cheekbones and the high points of his ears, as if his momentary display of ungainliness had embarrassed him or he expected some form of rebuke for it.

Choosing to circumvent that little moment of revelation, Rumi gave Kylo a moment to gather himself, busying herself with her files before looking back up at him.

“Is there anything in particular you would like to talk about Kylo? Or any boundaries you would like to set about things you would not want to discuss during our sessions?”

The mental health professional in her took note impassively as she saw the young man appear flustered - because he’d been given control of the situation… because someone had given him the option to choose how he wanted to handle the interaction. Rumi knew then that the path ahead of her was going to be long and arduous because this man had somehow been shouldering years of systematic grooming and abuse. And having grown with strict rules and orders running his entire life, his sudden freedom was discomfiting... almost as if he'd been unmoored and was adrift in a sea of indecision now. 

This young man, who now wielded the most amount of power and influence over the galaxy, had been just a child when he'd been brought to Snoke. Whether the abuse was just emotional or if it had extended to the physical realm was to be seen… but Kylo’s reactions to commonplace courtesies told her that the scars from his treatment by at least the erstwhile Supreme Leader, ran deep.

“The list on that second one would probably be longer than the first…” his voice tried and failed to sound sarcastic.

This young Force user, who could easily just move a couple of fingers and snap her neck if he so willed, just sounded weary. That coupled with the purple, almost bruise-like shadows under his eyes and ghost-pale skin spoke volumes to his condition.

“Why don’t we start with something less controversial? Can you tell me about the Force?”

For a second, Kylo appeared wrong-footed before gathering himself

“The Force? What about it?”

“Well… please explain what it is… how it works and how you are able to wield your impressive level of control over it… if you want to, that is”

Again, there was a momentary lapse in control as Kylo shrugged silently, his expression more suited to a teenager. 

“The Force is… everything I guess. It is an energy field that exists everywhere in the universe. It pervades everything living… it flows through everything and everyone. There are beings in the galaxy who are sensitive to the Force… they can feel it around them and in other beings and are quite unimaginatively called Force Sensitives. There are also, beings able to… not exactly control, but influence the Force to a certain extent. They are Force Users… the Jedi, the Sith and so forth.”

“And… which sect of Force users do you belong to?”

To anyone else this question might’ve seemed innocent and been expected, but to Kylo Ren it was like a blow to the solar plexus. Dr. Ashara watched, looking outwardly impassive as he dropped his mask on the lounge seat as if it had burned him and walked up to the large transparisteel viewport to one side of her office. His back was turned to her as he answered

“Neither. I don’t belong anywhere Doctor”

There was finality in his tone and before she could say anything, Kylo turned, nodded at her without meeting her eyes and made his way out. Rumi could only sigh as the doors slid shut behind him, his broken and remade mask abandoned on her chaise lounge, looking for all intents and purposes like a three dimensional representation of the young Supreme Leader’s psyche.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading till the end. 
> 
> I'm not sure where I'm planning to go with this. The idea just sprung up and won't let go till I write it out. I'm not even a couple of chapters in but I guess we'll see how this develops... together. 
> 
> xo  
> Genie


End file.
